I am not for a moment going to pretend I actually know what “rollerderby,” is. Thoughts come to mind of angry girls in kneepads elbowing their way around a track that have catchy names like “Hellhound Harriet,” and “Demon Darcy.” That’s all I know. I also know they aren’t girls I’d fuck with in a dark alley, I’d hope to convince them to be on my side, these are facts I do know for sure. Maybe I have it down, after all?

But what about the actual goings on of “Derby Girls,” or rollerderby as a whole? I’m curious, only because okay, it’s a sport, not something I claim to be an expert in either. But it also looks fun.

Things are about to change, and ignorance turned to experience, because I’m going to a bout.

On February 20th, there is going to be two local teams, the “Bang Bang Betties,” and the “Mafia Mollies,” that are going to duke it out on wheels, starting at 7:30pm. From what I hear, half-naked chicks are going to beat the crap out of each other, the booze will be flowing, and this is all happening for the benefit of Reno Roller Girls’ new location, since they weren’t as free as they’d like to be at Roller Kingdom (…which for you long-time locals was known as “King’s Skate Country,” long ago…)

The new location, at 3080 Lakeside Court (…kind of behind Ben’s and the fish store… ) is their very own space. I think it used to be the old Scolari’s over there, off of Lakeside. Look for the biggest building there! And angry girls with wheels on.

So what is a rollerderby “bout?” Basically it works like this:

- Reno Roller Girls is a (nonprofit) organization that hosts teams.

- Two teams compete in a bout, skates on, elbows primed, we watch boobs and bottoms bounce off the track.

- Bouts have themes, in this case, it’s “Punch and Cookies,” which will probably taken in all contexts.

- There is food and liquor (…to be provided by Men Wielding Fire…), games and prizes.

- There will be music, by a one DJ L.A.

- This is an all-ages event (drinker corral available).

- Tickets are $10 at the door and $5 presale (locations to be announced here, so check back), doors open at 6:30pm, bout is at 7:30pm.

The goal of it, if not chaotic, is a team is going to derby for a “win,” and there are no real rules to be had. It’s basically a demolition derby for people. There are penalties for certain things, mostly for fun, I assume, one called “Spank Alley,” shall be interesting, because it involves bystanders reaching out to one poor soul and spanking the shit out of her.

How rad is all of that?

I’m going to find out, and so should you!

Not convinced? Have questions? Go here, here and here:

www.renorollergirls.com
http://www.myspace.com/therenorollergirls
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=51998098443&ref=ts

I’m excited to go, something different to do! Stoked.
GR